The Moon is a Girl? (Who Knew!)
by MightyGoat
Summary: Naruto: A moon worshiping escape artist who has an unhealthy obsession with chakra. Sakura: An aspiring jashinist with the strength to destroy a mountain with a single punch. Sasuke: Is really, really confused. And Kakashi? Poor, poor Kakashi is wishing he never told them to come at him with the intent to kill.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

For as long as Naruto could remember, people would make a habit of avoiding him. Looks of hate, fear and even disgust had been thrown at him since his birth. Those around him would sneer, unable to look past their own pain to see the child he truly was, only able to find the monster that had taken their loved ones from them.

Humans were adaptable creatures, so perhaps one would think he would simply grow used to such a thing. But that wasn't the case, it could never be the case.

The others had always been treated differently. Love? Affection? He was always able to see what he could have had, had there not been something _wrong_ with him. (But what? What was it about him that was so different from everyone else?)

Seeing positivity- even if it was never directed at him- was what ensured that he would be prevented from adapting. Knowing that there was such a thing as kindness stopped him from drowning in darkness and insanity. Yet knowing what he could have had only seemed to pull him further and further down.

It gave birth to hatred within him.

But then things had begun to change, a small shift in the life of the child- not even five years of age- as he was about to give up something he would not understand for years to come.

The moon was a wonderful thing, she shone with unimaginable beauty and filled the night sky with her grace. Naruto loved the moon with all his heart, as it was her kind whispers of reassurance that had begun on that night- the night he had almost given up all hope of finding the light in the dark- that had saved him.

 _"Things will get better, child."_ The moon had whispered, _"I promise."_

* * *

Things had taken a turn for the better after that. A man Naruto would later come to call 'Jiji'- but seemed to be referred to as 'Hokage-sama' or 'Sandaime-sama' by most other people- had payed him a visit. A kind smile being given as the old man in robes and strange hat treated him to lunch.

The man where the Hokage had taken him to eat had frowned at first, but still served them with a fake smile without any protest. Naruto couldn't complain, he was used to it, and the sad look in the Hokage's eyes had gone unnoticed as he devoured his food, talking excitedly as he soaked up the rare positive attention like a sponge through bites of delicious noodles.

Ramen, he had decided, was the food of the gods. It had to be.

It was around the time of his second bowl that the man had lost most of the well-hidden negativity he had previously had. Naruto didn't understand why the man seemed to accept him, or what he had been accepted for, but it was a nice feeling.

When he had finished his meal and Teuchi had ruffled his hair, insisting that he come back another time and wanting to introduce him to his daughter... Well that had just confirmed Naruto's belief about ramen. It truly was something divine.

(That night, the moon had agreed with him wholeheartedly.)

* * *

It had been a good year and a half since Naruto had made his very first friend- the moon- when he met her. A girl with a unique yet no less pretty shade of pink hair had been crying alone just as he had many times before, hands covering her face as he scared off the bullies picking on her _forehead?_

It was an odd thing to be teased about, but that didn't matter. Crying meant sadness and Naruto had never liked sadness. It reminded him too much of himself and the moon when she spoke of her sons, telling tales of her corruption and two powerful men sealing her away.

So he approached the girl, pulling goofy faces in attempt to make her smile. Smiles meant happiness, he had learnt, as long as they weren't fake. She had stared for a moment before laughing at his silliness, and he had soon found himself laughing along with her.

There had been nothing fake about her- relieved and cheerful- as they laughed together.

With that, and an offer to play with him, Naruto made another friend in one Sakura Haruno. Little did either of them know how greatly their meeting would affect their lives, and the lives of those around them.

As the two chased after each other in a game of tag, several scheming beings across the world shuddered simultaneously as a foreboding feeling swept through them. It took them all less than five minutes to rid themselves of said feeling, however, all believing it to be unimportant.

Except for Hidan. Hidan felt awfully giddy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter One**

 **Poor, poor Kakashi**

* * *

White pupil-less eyes stared up into crimson red, the owner tilting his head in confusion at the gigantic being, a hand to his chin in thought as he frowned.

"Are you sure you're really a fox, 'cause those ears look a lot like-"

With a growl, the Kyūbi's claws lashed out, colliding with the bars that prevented it from maiming its annoying host.

* * *

Naruto woke up with a grin, tuning out the roars of rage and protest that echoed throughout the back of his mind. Placing his bare feet on the cold wooden flooring of his rundown open apartment, he decided that today would be a very good day.

It could also quite possibly be a very, very bad day. But it was always best to be optimistic.

Or maybe being pessimistic would be better, then he could be prepared for the worst.

 _Nah,_ he thought, _today's a day to be optimistic._

A mouth-watering scent filled Naruto's nose, causing his stomach to growl at the implications of the aroma. He made his way into the kitchen area, practically floating towards the sound of a frying pan sizzling, only to stop and curse as his toe was stubbed on the leg of a... couch?

Huh, since when did he have a couch? It definitely hadn't been there the night before. In all his twelve years of living he had never bought a couch. Or maybe he had? Had it even been _bought_ in the first place? Best not to think about that.

Hopping, he rubbed his injured toe, sniffling slightly as he gave the object of his pain a glare with a silent vow to have his revenge someday.

"Good morning, Naruto." A familiar voice called out from the kitchen, its owner not bothering to turn to him as they spoke. Naruto made his way over to them, still glaring at the damned couch that had ruined his good mood.

"Morning, Sakura." Naruto greeted, taking a seat at his old wooden table, giving a perfect view of his best friend cooking in his home, clad in pyjamas- plain and notably red in colour- just as he was. Although his were orange and covered in chibi rabbits.

"When did you get here?" He asked, even if he already knew the answer.

"Last night," Sakura replied cheerfully, pulling out two plates from his cupboard without having to search for them. She knew Naruto's apartment better than her own house, after all.

Naruto grinned. "So the couch was you, then?" He asked after a moment of silence. If it was, then he would forgive the piece of furniture. Maybe.

Probably not.

"Yeah," Sakura nodded.

So Sakura had somehow acquired the couch. That explained everything. "That thing is evil." Naruto gave her a half-hearted glare, arms crossed as she placed one of the plates down in front of him, and the other across from him. He stared at the omurice for a moment, mouth forming into a playful pout. "Eh? No ramen?"

Sakura took a seat opposite him, simply smiling. "We can't eat instant ramen all the time, and I managed to get my hands on the ingredients to try something new."

Omurice was a common thing for her to make, and Naruto knew of her obsession with rice based dishes. Along with the fact that she hadn't had him help her... It was a new variation, then.

"Alright, no ramen." He paused, bringing his hands together as Sakura mimicked his movement. "Itadakimasu!"

* * *

Kakashi's eye twitched impatiently, Sasuke standing next to him at their designated meeting place. He had made a special effort to arrive the usual three hours late, making a casual entrance with the expectations of two academy graduates screaming at him for being late.

Imagine his surprise when said two academy graduates had yet to show up, even ten minutes after his appearance.

Perhaps they had both been annoyed by his tardiness yesterday and had decided to pay him back?

Kakashi pulled out a certain orange book. Oh well, he would give them half an hour to show up before going to retrieve them.

He blissfully ignored Sasuke- who was practically radiating annoyance- as he found the page he was up to, giggling as he read.

* * *

"Crap crap crap!" Naruto- now in his signature orange jumpsuit- muttered as he rushed to put his sandals on. "Why didn't you tell me we were running late, Sakura?"

"Blame your fucking clock!" Sakura- in the same clothes she had been wearing the day prior- shot back, tossing a small circular case at him. "Don't forget to put them on!"

"Right. Thanks." He caught the object and hurriedly opened it. "Hey- what did the clock do to you anyway!"

Said alarm clock had been a precious gift from Iruka, even if it had been given because he had missed morning- and afternoon- classes for a week and a half. The fact that ten year old Naruto had just been skipping would always be left unsaid, especially if he was ever asked why he would do something like that.

For some reason, he was pretty sure that no one would believe him if he were to tell them 'the moon told me to do it'.

"It stopped working, for one." Sakura pointed out, double checking a scroll in her hands. "And now we don't have time to plan. Hatake-san probably thinks this is our attempt at getting back at him for being late."

Naruto frowned for a moment, thinking. The frown was quickly replaced with a grin as he clicked his fingers. "Let's just wing it!"

Sakura sighed, "like always..."

"Yup." Naruto nodded. "Like always, y'know."

* * *

Kakashi looked up from his book, perverted giggling stopping as the two missing academy graduates made their way towards the middle of the training ground.

"Sorry we're late." Sakura apologised, sending Naruto a glare. Naruto glared back, arms crossed.

"Hn," Sasuke said- grunted?-, intent on showing his displeasure at having been put on such a tardy team.

Much to the surprise of everyone but Naruto, Naruto grinned. "Yeah, yeah, I know we're late. Geez Sasuke, no need to be an ass."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "...Hn?" He asked hesitantly.

"Pfft, of course not. Although that is a good idea, but no, my clock just died." Naruto mock-sniffled. "It was a good friend, can ya blame me for being a bit late?"

"Hn."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, fists clenched. "What do you mean 'it's just a clock'-"

"Maa," Kakashi cut in with an eye smile. "Now that we're all here, I suppose it's time we start the test."

The three turned to him, and he had to resist the urge to sigh. While he had managed to gain some of their attention, Naruto was glaring at Sasuke, muttering about friendly clocks and Sakura had found her way into the middle of the two... sending Sasuke a warning look?

Odd, just yesterday Kakashi had been under the impression that she was just another fangirl whose only desire in life was to have Sasuke notice her and now she was- silently- coming to the defence of the person she had admitted to hating.

Perhaps something had happened? He mused. They may have a better chance at passing the bell test then, if only by a little.

Upon noticing the expectant looks he was receiving from the three, Kakashi held two bells up in front of him for them all to see, jingling them.

"Your goal is simple. Get these bells off of me by noon," he explained, "if you cannot do so, then you don't get lunch and will be tied to one of these posts while the others eat." He placed a hand on one of three said posts in emphasis, raising an eyebrow when only one stomach grumbled.

Sasuke looked embarrassed. Well, as embarrassed as an Uchiha could look, at least, and Naruto snickered at him while Sakura elbowed Naruto in the stomach.

"Hmm? You two had breakfast?" Kakashi asked, expression darkening in an attempt to intimidate them. "Even though you were ordered not to?"

Naruto shrugged. "Gotta eat when you can, y'know?"

"Especially when there's a chance to eat something of nutritional value for once," Sakura added. She paused for a moment, "and it's even more important when it isn't ramen."

"Hey! Don't dis the ramen!"

She gave Naruto a pointed look. He slumped his shoulders in defeat.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Well, I suppose that threat won't work with you two, then. How about this?" He jingled the bells again. "Whoever doesn't manage to get a bell will be sent back to the academy." He took in the shock of the academy graduates for a moment. "You'll need to come at me with the intent to kill if you want to have even the slightest chance of passing."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed in dangerous determination, Naruto frowned, rubbing one of his eyes and Sakura smiled kindly.

"Are you sure, Kakashi-sensei? What if you get seriously hurt?" She asked, tone worried as she shuffled her feet.

Kakashi frowned under his mask. Injury was a common thing among ninja, one did not go into the line of work without expecting to be harmed. Either Sakura did not understand this, or she was genuinely worried about him getting hurt.

He eye-smiled. "Don't worry, I am a Jounin after all. I think I can handle you in a fight."

"Are you sure, sensei?"

"Yes."

Naruto paled at the confirmation, inconspicuously inching closer to Sasuke.

Sakura's smile- kind and calm- returned. "Okay..."

Kakashi nodded in approval, raising an eyebrow at Naruto's action. Did he intend on taking out some of the competition? As bad as the idea was, it had happened before.

While he didn't expect the three to pass, he couldn't help but hope they would do something unexpected, that they would work as a team. But that unlikely, borderline impossible based on what he knew of the three.

He would get this over and done with, and then go back to reading Icha Icha.

"Alright. Start."

As if those words were the trigger, Naruto grabbed Sasuke and, with a burst of speed that the average Gennin should definitely not possess, the two disappeared into the forest surrounding the training grounds.

Sakura remained in the clearing, still smiling, but her eyes curved up in a way that matched her mouth.

Kakashi suddenly had a very, very bad feeling about that smile.

* * *

"What the hell, dobe?" Sasuke grumbled as Naruto put him down, stumbling over a stray tree branch he did so.

Naruto held a finger to his lips. "Shush," he whispered as Sasuke pulled out a kunai. "Just listen to me for a minute, okay?"

"...Hn."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Right, and why should I trust you not to attack me either? Look," he paused, "don't you think this test is a bit... strange?"

"Hn?" Sasuke asked, still anticipating a surprise attack.

"Gennin teams consist of three Gennin and a Jounin instructor, there aren't any exceptions," Naruto explained. "Especially in Konoha, teamwork is a major thing here. So why would Kakashi-sensei pit us against each other like this? Either he just doesn't want a team and intends to send us all back- don't look at me like that, he's a Jounin, Sasuke, he could kick your ass- or the real goal of this test..."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Is teamwork," he finished, surprised that Naruto had managed to figure it out.

Naruto grinned, nodding. "Yup, we all need to work together."

"Then we need to get Sakura."

Naruto waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about her. Sakura's smart, she already knows..." He glanced at the clearing nervously, the sound of metal colliding with metal reaching both of their ears, "...probably."

* * *

Kakashi stared at Sakura, body tense in caution as his instincts were telling him to _run_. He didn't let it show, however, nor did he let his confusion show.

There was no logical reason for him of all people to fear a Gennin, so why was that smile setting off so many warning bells?

Speaking of the bells, they- now attached to his side- made a gentle noise with the wind, reminding him of his objective.

"Maa, I didn't expect this of you, Sakura. For the top kunoichi of the year, I expected better." Kakashi criticised, and much to his surprise Sakura only chuckled slightly, smile still in place. He suppressed a shiver.

"Yes," she begun, pulling out a scroll, "stealth is essential for a ninja's survival, but-" unrolling the scroll slowly and revealing the basic storage seal within, she continued. "-hiding isn't what I need to do right now."

"Oh?" Kakashi asked, curious and ignoring his feeling that something was amiss as he pulled out his copy of Icha Icha Paradise. This team was becoming more and more of a let-down.

"Besides," Sakura added, a puff of smoke consuming the scroll in her hands, "I want to test something I found."

Kakashi only barely managed to dodge as she moved with a burst of chakra, the weapon the storage scroll had contained coming close to taking off his head.

He stared, eye wide at the scythe in Sakura's hands. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary with it, and his experience told him that it wasn't of the best quality but something was... off.

This time, while startled he was ready for the next attack, dodging the fast yet wild swings of the weapon. Sakura had a good amount of strength and speed, but she was just swinging the scythe around like an amateur.

While surprised, Kakashi was not impressed.

"This is a surprise," he said, "though not necessarily a good one. You know, fighting with something you don't know how to use will only get you killed on the battlefield."

"But this isn't the battlefield sensei," Sakura replied kindly. "This is a test of some kind, and you would want to gauge our current skill level." She held the scythe with both hands, pointing the blunt side of the curved blade towards him. "I'm just showing you where my interests lie for when we pass. And trust me... we will pass."

She charged once more.

* * *

Sasuke stared at Naruto in confusion, taking in the bulging veins that had appeared around his eyes with the mutter of something he hadn't quite heard.

It was strange, seeing his potential teammate- they weren't a team yet- acting the way he was… acting smart. It left Sasuke feeling suspicious, but undeniably curious. The person hiding with him might not even be Naruto, or maybe this was just how Naruto truly was.

Masks weren't just physical objects, after all.

He frowned, watching as Naruto stared off in a different direction than the battle in the clearing and giving the impression of obliviousness. Sasuke knew he was anything but.

Naruto suddenly winced, and at the same time a triumphant shout came from Sakura. She must have landed at hit on their potential sensei. Their poor, poor sensei who had no idea what he had gotten himself into. At the thought, an unnaturally large smile crept up his cheeks.

"Ready?" Naruto asked, closing his eyes and drawing a visible amount of chakra into his hands as he positioned them in front of him.

Sasuke blinked, confused but prepared for whatever were to happen next. He nodded.

* * *

Kakashi held the cut on his bloodied arm with the one hand he could feel. Huh, that probably wasn't good. At least he still had all of his limbs. For now.

Jumping up into a tree, Kakashi contemplated his options. Something was very, _very_ off. Sakura- _Haruno Sakura!-_ was strong. Way too strong for to be a Gennin, and she wasn't even aiming for the bells-

The bells jingled, an almost unnoticeable weight pressing down on them.

Kakashi's eye widened. The bells!

Quickly grabbing the hand that was wrapped around them, he tossed the owner- who? He hadn't been able to sense anyone!- over his shoulder and down onto the ground below, bright orange flying over him as he did so.

* * *

Sasuke could only stare as Naruto dug his fingers into the air and begun to _tear_ , the space as his hands separated creating a small void before revealing… the bells?

Naruto just sent him a grin, sticking his arm through the fist-sized hole as though what was happening wasn't strange to him at all.

It probably wasn't, Sasuke realised, noticing that while Naruto seemed intent on focusing, he wasn't showing any signs of struggle while using the strange technique. That was, until something on the other side yanked at his arm, forcing the portal open more and pulling a startled Naruto through.

Sasuke felt a brief pang of concern, but it was gone quickly as he remembered his own job:

Run out and grab the bells while Kakashi was distracted by whatever Naruto had just done.

Had this been the battlefield, Sasuke would have thought Naruto was using him as a sacrifice. But it wasn't, and he needed to work with the other two in order to become a ninja.

In order to kill _him._

He ran towards the clearing, determined.

* * *

 _Ah_ , Naruto thought nonchalantly as Kakashi flung him into the stream nearby, _my eye itches._

A part of him felt that he should be frustrated that his 'screw it let's make this up as we go along' plan hadn't worked, but with his eyes itching and it was really hard to dwell on anything else.

There was a loud splash as Naruto collided with the water. Lazily dragging himself out on hands and knees he gasped for breath, looking up at the Jounin towering above him, triumphant eye-smile on Kakashi's face fading into a look of confusion.

"Naruto..." Kakashi said, voice showing exactly how confused he was. Extremely so.

Naruto blinked, idly noting that his eyes weren't irritating him anymore. Yay. "Yes?" He asked, moving into a fighting stance.

"Your eyes are..."

His eyes widened.

Oh.

OH.

 _Oh crap._

He must have lost his contact lenses. His Very-Expensive-Specially-Made-To-Hide-The-Byakugan contact lenses. His Extremely-Expensive-Specially-Made-To-Hide-The-Byakugan contact lenses specially imported from an _Unknown Location_. With extra emphasis on the _Extremely-Expensive_ part.

And they were currently floating down the stream, lost forever.

Ignoring the fact that he had a second pair somewhere in his apartment, and that he had most definitely been ripped off, Naruto begun to panic.

Sakura was going to _kill_ him- brutally murder him with that scythe she found from Kaguya-knows-where last week and use him to experiment with the weird religious book he had gotten her for her last birthday and then she would-

The distinct sound of joints cracking a little too loudly snapped him out of his panic.

Sakura stood behind Kakashi and Naruto, scythe tossed to the side as she cracked her knuckles together.

Naruto paled. This was bad, very bad. Very, very, _very_ bad. He was going to die a slow and painful death, never to be able to fulfil his dreams and make the moon proud and-

"Ha. Ta. Ke. Ka. Ka. Shi."

-and apparently it wasn't him she was angry with. That was a good sign.

"DIE!"

Scrambling away as to avoid the inevitable danger, all Naruto could think was; _Poor, poor Kakashi._

* * *

Sasuke nearly tripped as the earth shook and cracked beneath him just as he jumped into the clearing. His eyes widened at the sight in front of him.

Sakura was moving fast- much faster than he could have ever expected- and throwing a storm of brawling attacks at Kakashi, Kakashi attempting and failing to dodge quite a few of her attacks.

Each punch that missed created a small crater, destroying the clearing as the clearly enraged Sakura fought the struggling and shocked Jounin.

"S-sakura, please calm down!" Kakashi begged as he struggled to get to his feet.

Sasuke stared. What he was witnessing was impossible, it had to be a Genjutsu. A quick flare of Chakra and the muttering of the word "kai" proved him wrong.

It was real.

Haruno Sakura- weak, obsessive fangirl Haruno Sakura- was beating the _living shit_ out of their to-be Jounin sensei.

She was beyond strong. And the dawning realisation came to him like an epiphany:

He needed to rethink _everything_.

A hand on his back startled Sasuke out of his musings, turning he came face to face with Naruto. But something was off, and he quickly put the pieces together.

"You're a Hyūga?"

Naruto grinned. "Nope!"

Okay, so maybe he hadn't put the pieces together properly, but all the evidence pointed in that direction. Except for the fact that there was absolutely no way someone like _Naruto_ could be related to the ever arrogant _Hyūga_. There was a very good reason that the Uchiha had deemed the Hyūga their rivals back in the day, they were just as bad as the Uchiha had been before the Massacre.

Not that his clan used to be arrogant or anything. But Naruto definitely wasn't.

Sasuke was about to question Naruto when Kakashi shrieked.

"YOU PASS. YOU ALL PASS JUST STOP PLEASE!"

Both Naruto and Sasuke turned their attention to the battlefield, where Kakashi was on the ground, bruised and bloody as Sakura held an uprooted tree above her head, preparing to throw it in Kakashi's general direction.

Sakura blinked, throwing the tree in the opposite direction before smiling. "Naruto, Sasuke! We passed!" She called out, and Naruto ran towards her without hesitation.

The two hugged, equal looks of excitement on their faces as they cheered. Sasuke fought down any longing he had at seeing the two interact and looked away, instead raising an eyebrow at Kakashi, who was now standing. His Hitai-ate was no longer covering his eye and it was almost swollen shut, but Sasuke could distinctly see Sharingan-red in it.

He thought about commenting on it, but decided that now wouldn't be the best time to do so.

Needless to say, Sasuke was beyond confused at the way his day had turned out. When Kakashi- now Kakashi- _sensei_ \- dismissed them, he was more than happy to oblige, walking away in the typical Uchiha fashion, his back turned to his comrades.

* * *

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow as he took in Kakashi's beaten, bloody and bruised form. Oh dear, the Jounin was certainly in need of medical attention.

He tried to not let on just how surprised he was at the implications of the other's injuries, bringing his pipe to his mouth.

"I take it they passed, then?"

There was a pause, Kakashi hesitant to answer. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

The Hokage nodded, a smile forming on his lips. So Naruto had passed, and he and his teammates had proven themselves to be able to work together. Very good. Today had been a most promising of days, definitely worth getting up even with the pleading protests of his aged body. He would have to take Naruto out for ramen to celebrate as soon as he could.

...Unless Iruka beat him to it again. Damn that Chūnin for stealing all his chances at spending time with his surrogate grandson. Oh if only he had more free time to spend with Naruto, and Konohamaru too! But no, as a Kage he has 'responsibilities' and 'a dedication to his village'.

 _Damn you Minato, I was retired. And then you had to go and get killed!_

Not for the first time, Hiruzen couldn't help but wonder if Minato had purposely released the Kyūbi when he realised just how much being Hokage sucked.

"Hokage-sama." Hiruzen was snapped out of his thoughts as Kakashi- who really should be in the hospital, he noted idly- spoke.

"Yes, Kakashi?" He asked, matching the Copy Ninja's serious tone.

"There was an... incident... during the test. Involving Naruto."

Hiruzen's blood ran cold, his mind running at the implications for a moment, but then halting as he once again took in Kakashi's injured form.

"Was it the Kyūbi?" He asked, going from Tired Old Man mode to God of Shinobi mode in an instant.

Kakashi blinked- winked? It was really hard to tell with all the pain he was in-, realising what his current injuries implied. "Oh, no, no Hokage-sama," he bought his hands up dismissively, "Sakura did this to me, not Naruto." He reassured, shuddering at the memory. "Or the Kyūbi." He added in afterthought.

Hiruzen relaxed, though he couldn't help but wonder how _Sakura_ of all people could have even landed a single hit on one of his best Ninja, let alone...

He would have to investigate later.

"It's good news that the Kyūbi isn't breaking free, but what of Naruto?"

Kakashi nodded, and gave a strained eye-smile. "Well..." He trailed off hesitantly.

"Kakashi."

"Yes?"

"Tell me. Now."

Kakashi fidgeted a little, wondering how he should go about telling the Hokage of his recent discovery. He should probably just go right out and say it. It'd be just like ripping off a Band-Aid. An extremely powerful and old Band-Aid that didn't like to hear anything but the best of news when concerning the village's Jinchuriki.

Oh well, if he could survive Sakura then he could survive Hiruzen.

Probably.

"Naruto, he... ah... he has the Byakugan, Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen's face went blank as he processed the words. Once his mind translated 'Naruto has the Byakugan' into _'Naruto_ has the _Byakugan'_ , he sighed. "The Hyūga clan are going to pull a fit when they find out." _And I'll need to have words with Iruka about this,_ he added silently, massaging his temples.

"That's not all," Kakashi started, "he seems to be fluent in the 'Secret Uchiha Language of the Hn', Hokage-sama."

"WHAT!?"

* * *

Sakura turned to Naruto as they walked. "So, you never told me you speak Uchiha." She said, pointing an accusing finger into his shoulder.

Naruto shrugged. "There are a lot of things I don't tell you," he said, holding back a snicker.

She gave him a _look_. "You tell me everything."

He gulped. "...Magic?"

She snorted. "Bullshit."

Naruto put a hand over his heart in mock-hurt. "How could you say such a thing!"

Sakura groaned, burying her face in her hands. "I can't believe I- you don't actually know what Sasuke was saying, do you?"

Naruto grinned. "No idea! But it's funny having him think that I know, y'know?"

She smiled, "I know."


End file.
